When someone becomes a parent, it is by choice and not something that is forced on them. Image source: The Star.
After all, there are many couples who have abstain from having or adopting children simply because they are not ready – emotionally, financially and mentally to take care of children.
For those who have decided to have children, there is a mandatory obligation that they need to take all necessary steps to ensure the kids are well fed; safe and educated (see the earlier posts – Part 1 & Part 2).
For the past few days, if you had not noticed, the weather had not been that good – the day had been rather hazy and the nights has been warm and very sweaty. Can you imagine – I was sweating profusely eventhough I was pouring buckets of cold water onto myself. It was that bad. And as if that was not enough, I caught cold and started to cough and it got worse day by day.
One day I woke up, feeling like someone was sitting on my chest and I could not breathe properly. The chest felt heavy and I did not have a good appetite in the morning as well. I went to see the doctor and after registration, I was waiting for the nurse to call me in to see the doctor.
It is a slow start for 2016 when it comes to blogging but on the other side of the spectrum, I am making some positive changes this year when it comes to personal health. All weekends and on alternate week days when I am back from office early, I am spending at least an hour or so playing badminton to keep myself in shape.
My badminton partners are the usual suspects – my kids (when means I get to pick the shuttlecock most of the time, be very patience and be gentle with my returns) and my wife (when I can practice my smashes, ha ha). It is just a start but I still sucks on other things like the food I eat and the amount of sleep I get on daily basis but as they say a journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step, it is a start for the moment.
In the last one week ago, I got 5 notification of missing children (of various ages) and 5 in a week was very disturbing.
As a parent, it is very unsettling news and I can understand the agony of the parents of the missing kids. Some of the kids who were reported missing are very young, very much in the age of my daughter:-
(They are just 3 and 5 years old and too young to defend themselves. Who had taken them? If there is any news on the missing children, please call 0164114656 Arul, 0167093244 Prem, 0187659530 Mary or 0149175213 Suha)
(Muhammad Azfar Adriel Bin Mohd Zaki aged 10 years old. Missing at about midnight on 23rd September from Koi Tropika Condo, Puchong wearing black t-shirt and short jeans. If there is any news, please call the parents at 0123390149 /0123853936)
Last year, TheStar reported this:-
A startling average of 15 people went missing every day in Malaysia last year, nearly a quarter of them Malay girls aged between 13 and 17. According to police records, 4,804 people were reported missing from January to October last year and more than half of them did not make it back home. In 2011, 5,961 people went missing.
Last year, between January and October, 4,804 persons were reported missing, according to the Royal Malaysia Police website (www.rmp.gov.my). Of that, 2,332 were found, while 2,472 are still missing (826 males, and 1,646 females). A total of 109 missing persons were below the age of 12, about 1,068 were between 13 and 17 years old, 1,111 were above 18 years old, and 184 cases were of unknown age groups.
In the past, when a child is reported missing, the outcome has not been very positive (here and here).
I just hope that all the children who were reported missing would be found soon and return to their families safe and sound. In meantime, please subscribe to Talian Nur as follows (it’s free and it is for a good cause):-
The remains of two more Malaysian victims who were on board Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 – Shell employee Tambi Jiee, 49, and one-year-old Benjamin Lee Jian Han – have been brought home.
Benjamin’s remains were taken to the Xiao En Bereavement Care Centre in Cheras. He was with his mother – Universiti Malaysia Sabah lecturer Ng Shi Ing, 33 – and aunt Elisabeth Ng Lye Ti, 30, on the aircraft when it crashed in Ukraine on July 17, killing 283 passengers and 15 crew members.
I do not know Benjamin personally and I am very sure that he is one adorable kid who made everyone laugh with joy. I am sure his parents had high hopes on him and of many things that he will do and achieve in his lifetime.
Being a father myself, seeing his small coffin somehow left me in tears and I silently prayed that the young Benjamin did not suffer when his life was taken way from him so tragically at this very tender age.
It breaks my heart to know there were innocent young children who had nothing to do with the conflict on the ground be made to pay the ultimate price, just because some monsters had itchy hands on a trigger.
We may never bring these monsters to face justice and bring this tragedy to a proper closure but never again we should bear witness to another tragedy like this.
(What young children really need is a strong, supportive and loving parents. Image source: http://eduart4kids.com)
Another innocent life taken away all because of sheer recklessness:-
A four-year-old boy died after being left inside his father’s car at the parking lot of SM Kuala Nerang about 45km from Alor Setar.
The deceased, identified as Muhammad Aqil Arfan Adnan, 4, had begun the day accompanying his parents Adnan Salleh and Asiah Abu when they left their house at Kampung Padang Durian, Pendang, Kedah.
They left their house about 6.45am and Adnan sent his wife to the school where she taught before going to the school where he works as a religious teacher. He forgot to drop him off at kindergarten Perdana ABC at Kuala Nerang.
At 4.00pm as his father went back to his car, he found his son was unconscious. He rushed him to Kuala Nerang Hospital but the boy was pronounced dead.
None of the children were going to school and they all don’t have any birth certificates. The eldest of the 4 instead helps his mom to sell snacks at night and they barely makes it on a daily basis. It seems to be a typical case of the poor family in this country except for one thing which made me very angry indeed.
Apparently the lady have another 3 kids – all grown up but are not staying together to help the lady and their siblings. The eldest, a son is in jail for criminal activities whilst the other 2, girls had ran away from the family. The father used to be in jail but had recently been released but had decided to stay away from the family.
The remaining young children future remains bleak and the lady is really helpless on what to do next.
Whilst it is tragic, the question that begs to be answered is why some people have kids but does not take the trouble, pride and responsibility in taking care of their kids? How could the father could have forgotten that his kid was inside the car.
Imagine the suffering that the young child would have before he died. How could the father simply washes his hands from taking care of his kids but the idiot had plenty of time, fathering whole lot of them. There was no excuse whatsoever for these acts and in case of the parents abandoning the kids, these irresponsible parents should be made to pay dearly.
Having kids is a big, big responsibility and once 2 people have decided to have kids, nothing else comes before their kids and their welfare.
And one of the main things that parents can do in the best interest of their kids is making sure they go to school and get a decent education. The lady with the 4 young kids expressed to the reporter in the TV program that all she wanted to do to get her kids to school but without birth certificates, that is not possible for now unless the Government steps in to help the family.
Then there is the issue of the family making ends meet with the single mother not having a permanent job and whatever she makes and sells on daily basis is used back for the family’s expenses and for the raw materials for the next day.
I was lucky that my parents especially my Dad held that education was far more important that saving up for a new house or car or good things in life. We all stayed on rented house for most of our life until I bought a house on my own.
We often take the bus and walked a lot back then. And having chicken for our meals was a luxury that came perhaps once in a month. But somehow there was no short of money for school tuition, stationery and revision books. No matter what was the situation, my Dad always had the money for our education..
In general, most parents are doing well when it comes to having the right responsibility and care of their children and myself and my wife do have our hands full handling our 2 little bosses. As my dad have done in the past, I emphasized the same on education and even though my children fares slightly better than me when I was at their age, their ultimate goal remains the same.
And there is another aspect of being a good parents and that is to be around when the children needs us – providing that support, teaching the rights to say and do and assuring them that they can always count on us. I travel a lot so I do get to miss a lot of my children’s activities and first time occasions but when I am at home, I make it a point to spend as much as possible time with my kids.
When I come back from work, one of first questions that I ask my son is “how was school?” or “how was your day” and followed by “have you finished your home work?” of course. My daughter still young but she do fight her brother to get a bigger share of my attention. She will butt in with her own report for the day.
We sleep late almost every day but despite being very tired, it is a very rewarding feeling.
And I say this again, having kids is a big, big responsibility and once 2 people have decided to have kids, nothing else comes before their kids and their welfare. If you can’t do that, don’t have kids – just simple as that.
Working 7 days a week including working up to 10 at night on the weekdays sure pulls the energy from the mind. Somehow, I still force myself to take a late night shower (I have tried but I could not bring myself to bed without a shower…it simply feels too “sticky”) and sometimes put the clothes for washing.
Then it is off to the bed and wake up again at about 6.30 am (without alarm) after the alarm goes off at 5.45 am, 5.50 am and 6.00 am (I am rarely aware of the time I switch off the alarm on 3 separate occasions).
The CCTV grab above, which shows Siti Soffea Emelda being led by a man out of Kota Raya Komplex, could possibly be the last moment Siti Soffea Emelda was seen alive.
The image was taken by police from the shopping centre located in Puduraya on the day Soffea was abducted by the man and hours later found dead with her head severed on the bank of Klang River. Image source: Malay Mail
When I am abroad on work assignment, things are pretty much of a routine – wake up early in the morning, take a couple slices of bread to fill the stomach for the morning rush (until it is time for lunch), take the cab to work place and work until night, came back to the apartment dead tired with just enough energy to take shower, a bit of food as dinner and perhaps putting the dirty clothes into the washing machine and go to sleep.
I hardy have time to blog even when the Big Boss celebrated his birthday couple days ago and I only managed to wish him through the phone.
Then I read this and I was speechless and got very, very angry:-
A CCTV footage purportedly showing two-year-old Siti Soffea Emelda Abdullah being abducted at the Kota Raya shopping complex has gone viral.
In the video, the suspect was seen trying to lure her away. The CCTV footage in the complex later showed the man walking away with Siti Soffea. The man was said to have abducted and beheaded the toddler with a ceramic tile on Thursday before jumping into the river in an attempt to escape.
Police found the body of the man in the Klang River near Jalan Tun Sambanthan, bringing a closure to the case. The body was found floating in the river near Bandar Sunway here on Saturday.
A police source said that witnesses of the incident had already identified the suspect through photos and police are studying the CCTV footage.
Police believed the suspect, who was in his late 30s, was released from prison recently and had previous criminal records, mostly drug-related.
The source said the man had worked as a parking attendant near the Kota Raya shopping complex in Kuala Lumpur where the girl was abducted.
Siti Soffea was with her mother Siti Salmy Suib, 32, who left the toddler with her friends as she needed to use the toilet on the fourth floor of the complex at about 3pm on Thursday. When she came back about five minutes later, Siti Soffea was not with her friends.
They searched the building but could not find her. Siti Salmy only learnt of what had happened to her daughter when police tracked her down and alerted her later that night.
A young kid abducted in day broad light and no one took notice of it until it was way too late. I do not know how filthy this society had come to be – from being the usual “tak apa” attitude to murderous monsters who prey on little innocent children. When this will even stop? In this case, the mother alone cannot be faulted for losing her kid.
What happened to her friends who were entrusted to keep an eye on the kid when the mother had to use the bathroom? High on drugs? What happened to the security guard who saw the young girl forcibly pulled by the stranger but opted to do nothing? It is not part of his job scope?
Has human life had become that cheap for everyone when they could have done something and opted to do nothing?
As a father to 2 young kids, I am very angry with this whole tragedy. We have been losing kids (some like the Sathiskumar who went missing into thin air or William Yau who got down from the car and later found to be dead) on a regular basis.
And no matter who we try to lay our blame on others – the parents (there are super sized morons who do not deserve to have any kids), the suspects (a big surprise on how the long arm of the law does not do much to keep them away from society), the society (who usually chooses to look the other way until it is too late – the famed tak apa attitude) and even the Government (who have plenty of time talking cock when it comes to dirty politics but have not demonstrated a sense of some intelligence in protecting the society), at the end of the day, it is the young innocent children that get the raw deal.
Let’s admit that everyone of us is guilty in one way or another to this tragedy (forget about the Home Minster coming to the rescue – the past few interviews and statements made by him simply reinforces the notion that we all have been dumb enough to continue to allow certain morons to hold public office and these morons have no shame whatsoever demonstrating their lack of good judgement & intelligence on what matters more when it comes to good governance). As a Home Minister, he should stay at home and save a lot of trouble and embarrassment to the country.
What I am afraid of is that we have too many of these tragedies of having missing and dead children and one day, we may find ourselves waking up and deciding that missing or dead children is a norm in this country. Can we stop this nonsense right here, right now before that happens?
(Upset a group of people in this country, you will end up getting a dead chicken on your doorstep. It used to be a cow head. That is what will happen when you have people thinking on their emotions. Image source: http://www.thenewstribe.com)
Well, this was not something new or something that is not common to find in Malaysia. You can find the dumbest and the most arrogant people on Malaysian roads. Those riding motorcycles (except for handful) don’t even come close to the scrapping the bottom of the pit when it comes to law abiding road users. They have safely rooted themselves on Martian grounds.
So it not a big surprise to read this:-
Malaysians are still immature when it comes to road safety and following traffic regulations. Road Safety Department director-general Datuk Tam Weng Wah said the country has first-world facilities and infrastructure, including good roads, pedestrian walkways, proper traffic lights and signages.
He added that despite the efforts to educate the public about abiding by traffic regulations, using zebra crossings and switching on signal lights while driving, many were still not disciplined in those aspects.
“Such bad habits and road culture have contributed to the death toll due to the negligence of their own safety as well as the safety of others,” he said after meeting pedestrians at Jalan Wong Ah Fook here yesterday to promote road safety.
Perhaps I should write another open letter, this time to Datuk Tam Weng Wah. As I have said many times in my blog, end all the sweet talk and come hard on the wrong doers. It is clear that we are having too many immature people on the road and endangering others.
The only way to ensure that the road users abide by the traffic laws is by enforcing the law. AES should be implemented in a greater numbers and this will help to nab speed demons like this (the investigations now revealed that speeding was a factor that caused the 37 deaths back in 2013). And in time, it will become second nature to them and people will just abide by the traffic laws without the need to enforce them.
Beating Up Children in Sweden
Beating our children when they misbehave is nothing new in our Asian society – don’t we all still remember the whacking that we got from our parents and teachers when we were young? Even the Big Boss have gotten one or two from me when he really “misbehaved” (I rather call it being hyperactive with too much knowledge and curiosity) although this is very, very rare (most of the time, I will just raise my voice and whatever “misbehaving” ends immediately)
But it is not the case in other countries as these 2 Malaysians are finding out the hard way in Sweden:-
In a video recorded by the Swedish police last December, and shown to the court on Wednesday, Ammar said his mother Shalwati Nurshal often beat him when he talked back, stomped his feet, or watched YouTube videos instead of joining the family for dinner.
Shalwati, and her husband Azizul Raheem Awalluddin, a Tourism Malaysia director in Stockholm, are facing their second day of trial in the Solna District Court, here, over charges of abusing their children.
This prompted the policewoman to say that regardless of what a child had done, he could not be hit as it was the law in Sweden. Sweden has outlawed corporal punishment since 1979, and those found guilty of breaking the law could face up to six years in prison.
Just like how we expect foreigners to abide by the law of this country, the same goes to Malaysians living & working in other countries. It is just unfortunate that Shalwati and Azizul have been booked for something that most Malaysian parents would do without any hestitation. I just hope that the judge in the court hearing will consider the Asian culture in deciding whether the Malaysian couple is indeed guilty of breaking of the law or just too ignorant of the laws of the country that they are in.
Dead Chickens for Terese Kok
Well, err, read this latest news on dead chicken for Teresa Kok:-
A dead chicken and red paint, along with A4 printouts of Seputeh MP Teresa Kok’s image, were found on the staircase leading to the DAP lawmaker’s office in Seputeh on Wednesday. Kok condemned the act and has stated her belief that it was related to her Onederful Malaysia CNY 2014 video. All these “threats”, including an NGO’s reward offer for anyone to slap her, have made the public upset, claimed Kok.
“Many members of the public have expressed concern for my safety,” said Kok, adding that she’s not considering hiring bodyguards as it is “troublesome”.
Though she feels threatened, Kok said she’s working as usual and is relying on her colleagues to ensure her safety at functions. She urged social media and bloggers to stop playing up and distorting the issue, saying that “enough is enough”. “It’s really unthinkable. There’s a group of people who are bent on turning everything into a racial issue, twisting simple things that I do in such a manner that it threatens my security,” she said.
Yes, I have watched her Onederful video and franky speaking, I don’t get it. It getting clearer that Teresa Kok should not have done up the video in the first place.
Firstly it was not funny and somehow lacked the creative touch. For those who may not understand the language, the acting seemed overboard too. Issues raised was not new and it was tiring to see the same old horse beaten to death. Even Namewee was funnier and made more sense.
Secondly knowing that there are too many emotional people around when it comes to race and religion in this country, she should have focused on something more related to the occasion – Chinese New Year. With too many dry leaves on ground, all it needs is small spark and you will end up with an uncontrolled forest fire.
After all, we are still plenty of immature people in this country, right?
(Nothing, I mean nothing stands between the Boss and her “sarong” when it comes to bedtime which soon follows suite once she had her milk. We usually bring backups in case we misplace her favorite sarong)
Ha, I am sure everyone has his / hers favorite blanket or pillow when they were small. I can’t recall if I had one when I was small (I don’t think so) but my sister had her “bantal busuk” (pillow) even after she had grown up. One day, my mom had to throw it away after the pillow had turned black in color despite many attempts to wash it. We were convinced that it would have made a great place for virologists to discover new species.
My son still have his favorite blanket that we got for him when he was months old baby. What used to be a dark orange large piece of blanket has turned into a very faded, washed out, torn in several pieces blanket. Last year we decided to give him a proper replacement – a similar in color & type of blanket but despite that, he still keeps his old blanket on his bed before he can go to sleep. He also folds the small pieces neatly in the morning. Even after we had set the bed for him, he will still hunt for his old blanket high and low and he make sure he goes to bed with all pieces. The new blanket would often be on the floor and his old blanket firmly in his hands by the time he is fast asleep. After all, he had been sleeping with his old blanket for the past 8 – 9 years. So I guess it will take some time before he gets over the old blanket and warm up to the new blanket.
Not to be left out, his sister is also following up closely on the blanket business but with a different twist. Instead of a normal blanket, she opted for “sarong”. The one that she remembers as a baby (and for us, she is still a baby), cradling on her grandfather’s sarong (that’s my dad) and my Dad has a lot of blue themed sarongs. So when we got her a proper blanket, she went for the blue themed sarong instead. We tried several times to get her used to the blanket but every time we do that, she still opt for the blue themed sarong (and over time, opt for any soft sarongs). So it was clear where she was going with the choice of her favorite “blanket”.
So what my wife decided to do is to buy a few blue themed sarongs for my daughter (for main use and backups) and my grandmother (yes, she still comes over on the weekend to see her favorite great grand child) decided to cut it smaller and sew it into a more manageable size. That in the sense where my daughter would carry it around without tripping over it. And it did not take long before she becomes closely attached to the sarong and it has comes to a point where she sometimes needs more than one sarong when she goes to sleep – one in each hand. Then something very sweet happens – she would hold the sarong close to her mouth and her mouth curls up. She licks her lips and soon falls deep in sleep.
And because of this, we sometimes get into deep trouble especially when we forget to bring along her sarong when we go out with her. She will go hyper crazy if she cannot hold her sarong when she wants to go to sleep and my car has been one good spot to sleep – with the “cool” air conditioner and the “soothing” background music (same thing with my son when he was young). She want to sleep but without her sarong by her side, it is still not complete. She jumps all of the place and my wife could not get her to sit down in one place. But once reach home and the moment she grabs her sarong, her mouth would curl up and she would look for a spot to sleep.