When someone becomes a parent, it is by choice and not something that is forced on them. Image source: The Star.
After all, there are many couples who have abstain from having or adopting children simply because they are not ready – emotionally, financially and mentally to take care of children.
For those who have decided to have children, there is a mandatory obligation that they need to take all necessary steps to ensure the kids are well fed; safe and educated (see the earlier posts – Part 1 & Part 2).
For the past few days, if you had not noticed, the weather had not been that good – the day had been rather hazy and the nights has been warm and very sweaty. Can you imagine – I was sweating profusely eventhough I was pouring buckets of cold water onto myself. It was that bad. And as if that was not enough, I caught cold and started to cough and it got worse day by day.
One day I woke up, feeling like someone was sitting on my chest and I could not breathe properly. The chest felt heavy and I did not have a good appetite in the morning as well. I went to see the doctor and after registration, I was waiting for the nurse to call me in to see the doctor.
It is a slow start for 2016 when it comes to blogging but on the other side of the spectrum, I am making some positive changes this year when it comes to personal health. All weekends and on alternate week days when I am back from office early, I am spending at least an hour or so playing badminton to keep myself in shape.
My badminton partners are the usual suspects – my kids (when means I get to pick the shuttlecock most of the time, be very patience and be gentle with my returns) and my wife (when I can practice my smashes, ha ha). It is just a start but I still sucks on other things like the food I eat and the amount of sleep I get on daily basis but as they say a journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step, it is a start for the moment.
(What young children really need is a strong, supportive and loving parents. Image source: http://eduart4kids.com)
Another innocent life taken away all because of sheer recklessness:-
A four-year-old boy died after being left inside his father’s car at the parking lot of SM Kuala Nerang about 45km from Alor Setar.
The deceased, identified as Muhammad Aqil Arfan Adnan, 4, had begun the day accompanying his parents Adnan Salleh and Asiah Abu when they left their house at Kampung Padang Durian, Pendang, Kedah.
They left their house about 6.45am and Adnan sent his wife to the school where she taught before going to the school where he works as a religious teacher. He forgot to drop him off at kindergarten Perdana ABC at Kuala Nerang.
At 4.00pm as his father went back to his car, he found his son was unconscious. He rushed him to Kuala Nerang Hospital but the boy was pronounced dead.
None of the children were going to school and they all don’t have any birth certificates. The eldest of the 4 instead helps his mom to sell snacks at night and they barely makes it on a daily basis. It seems to be a typical case of the poor family in this country except for one thing which made me very angry indeed.
Apparently the lady have another 3 kids – all grown up but are not staying together to help the lady and their siblings. The eldest, a son is in jail for criminal activities whilst the other 2, girls had ran away from the family. The father used to be in jail but had recently been released but had decided to stay away from the family.
The remaining young children future remains bleak and the lady is really helpless on what to do next.
Whilst it is tragic, the question that begs to be answered is why some people have kids but does not take the trouble, pride and responsibility in taking care of their kids? How could the father could have forgotten that his kid was inside the car.
Imagine the suffering that the young child would have before he died. How could the father simply washes his hands from taking care of his kids but the idiot had plenty of time, fathering whole lot of them. There was no excuse whatsoever for these acts and in case of the parents abandoning the kids, these irresponsible parents should be made to pay dearly.
Having kids is a big, big responsibility and once 2 people have decided to have kids, nothing else comes before their kids and their welfare.
And one of the main things that parents can do in the best interest of their kids is making sure they go to school and get a decent education. The lady with the 4 young kids expressed to the reporter in the TV program that all she wanted to do to get her kids to school but without birth certificates, that is not possible for now unless the Government steps in to help the family.
Then there is the issue of the family making ends meet with the single mother not having a permanent job and whatever she makes and sells on daily basis is used back for the family’s expenses and for the raw materials for the next day.
I was lucky that my parents especially my Dad held that education was far more important that saving up for a new house or car or good things in life. We all stayed on rented house for most of our life until I bought a house on my own.
We often take the bus and walked a lot back then. And having chicken for our meals was a luxury that came perhaps once in a month. But somehow there was no short of money for school tuition, stationery and revision books. No matter what was the situation, my Dad always had the money for our education..
In general, most parents are doing well when it comes to having the right responsibility and care of their children and myself and my wife do have our hands full handling our 2 little bosses. As my dad have done in the past, I emphasized the same on education and even though my children fares slightly better than me when I was at their age, their ultimate goal remains the same.
And there is another aspect of being a good parents and that is to be around when the children needs us – providing that support, teaching the rights to say and do and assuring them that they can always count on us. I travel a lot so I do get to miss a lot of my children’s activities and first time occasions but when I am at home, I make it a point to spend as much as possible time with my kids.
When I come back from work, one of first questions that I ask my son is “how was school?” or “how was your day” and followed by “have you finished your home work?” of course. My daughter still young but she do fight her brother to get a bigger share of my attention. She will butt in with her own report for the day.
We sleep late almost every day but despite being very tired, it is a very rewarding feeling.
And I say this again, having kids is a big, big responsibility and once 2 people have decided to have kids, nothing else comes before their kids and their welfare. If you can’t do that, don’t have kids – just simple as that.
The CCTV grab above, which shows Siti Soffea Emelda being led by a man out of Kota Raya Komplex, could possibly be the last moment Siti Soffea Emelda was seen alive.
The image was taken by police from the shopping centre located in Puduraya on the day Soffea was abducted by the man and hours later found dead with her head severed on the bank of Klang River. Image source: Malay Mail
When I am abroad on work assignment, things are pretty much of a routine – wake up early in the morning, take a couple slices of bread to fill the stomach for the morning rush (until it is time for lunch), take the cab to work place and work until night, came back to the apartment dead tired with just enough energy to take shower, a bit of food as dinner and perhaps putting the dirty clothes into the washing machine and go to sleep.
I hardy have time to blog even when the Big Boss celebrated his birthday couple days ago and I only managed to wish him through the phone.
Then I read this and I was speechless and got very, very angry:-
A CCTV footage purportedly showing two-year-old Siti Soffea Emelda Abdullah being abducted at the Kota Raya shopping complex has gone viral.
In the video, the suspect was seen trying to lure her away. The CCTV footage in the complex later showed the man walking away with Siti Soffea. The man was said to have abducted and beheaded the toddler with a ceramic tile on Thursday before jumping into the river in an attempt to escape.
Police found the body of the man in the Klang River near Jalan Tun Sambanthan, bringing a closure to the case. The body was found floating in the river near Bandar Sunway here on Saturday.
A police source said that witnesses of the incident had already identified the suspect through photos and police are studying the CCTV footage.
Police believed the suspect, who was in his late 30s, was released from prison recently and had previous criminal records, mostly drug-related.
The source said the man had worked as a parking attendant near the Kota Raya shopping complex in Kuala Lumpur where the girl was abducted.
Siti Soffea was with her mother Siti Salmy Suib, 32, who left the toddler with her friends as she needed to use the toilet on the fourth floor of the complex at about 3pm on Thursday. When she came back about five minutes later, Siti Soffea was not with her friends.
They searched the building but could not find her. Siti Salmy only learnt of what had happened to her daughter when police tracked her down and alerted her later that night.
A young kid abducted in day broad light and no one took notice of it until it was way too late. I do not know how filthy this society had come to be – from being the usual “tak apa” attitude to murderous monsters who prey on little innocent children. When this will even stop? In this case, the mother alone cannot be faulted for losing her kid.
What happened to her friends who were entrusted to keep an eye on the kid when the mother had to use the bathroom? High on drugs? What happened to the security guard who saw the young girl forcibly pulled by the stranger but opted to do nothing? It is not part of his job scope?
Has human life had become that cheap for everyone when they could have done something and opted to do nothing?
As a father to 2 young kids, I am very angry with this whole tragedy. We have been losing kids (some like the Sathiskumar who went missing into thin air or William Yau who got down from the car and later found to be dead) on a regular basis.
And no matter who we try to lay our blame on others – the parents (there are super sized morons who do not deserve to have any kids), the suspects (a big surprise on how the long arm of the law does not do much to keep them away from society), the society (who usually chooses to look the other way until it is too late – the famed tak apa attitude) and even the Government (who have plenty of time talking cock when it comes to dirty politics but have not demonstrated a sense of some intelligence in protecting the society), at the end of the day, it is the young innocent children that get the raw deal.
Let’s admit that everyone of us is guilty in one way or another to this tragedy (forget about the Home Minster coming to the rescue – the past few interviews and statements made by him simply reinforces the notion that we all have been dumb enough to continue to allow certain morons to hold public office and these morons have no shame whatsoever demonstrating their lack of good judgement & intelligence on what matters more when it comes to good governance). As a Home Minister, he should stay at home and save a lot of trouble and embarrassment to the country.
What I am afraid of is that we have too many of these tragedies of having missing and dead children and one day, we may find ourselves waking up and deciding that missing or dead children is a norm in this country. Can we stop this nonsense right here, right now before that happens?
Sometimes when you read the headlines and on the state of the nation, don’t you feel like looking down in sheer frustration and then look up and say a silent prayer?
Yes, no doubt there other positive things to look out for – a roof over your head, good health, lovable family and friends, good job with enough pay to take care of your family and live rather comfortably. But once you take a look at the larger picture and knowing the small things that is happening far from your comfort zone is going to come back you hard, it becomes simply frustrating. From the rising crime (and the insane shooting and assassinations), the speechless outcry when the police kills a bunch of criminals (does that is exactly was expected to be done to end the criminals senseless killings? It should not be the end of the mop up exercise and it should continue until public perception of security improves), the release of the policemen who been charged with the killing of the Mongolian Altantuya Shaariibuu (gosh, so does this means she killed herself with C4?), the recycling and appointment of the same old tainted & corrupted politicians into the key positions of the Government again and again and again (“tak kan lah tak ada orang lain” in the whole of Malaysia who can the job?), the continued abuse of taxpayers money (the Government obsession with consultants seems to be running high and dry) and the manipulation the notion of race and religion for dubious reasons.
But that is not this post is about – let’s talk about something else and it came to me last night.
I was watching TV last night and out of the many channels in my room, nothing seems to catch my attention. The Fox channel was showing Will Smith’s I, Robot again for like 500th time. As I was scrolling up and down through the channels (stopping momentarily at the local channels), one looked interesting – it was about a group of rockers auditioning in front of the judges over some Korean Pop Channel. The rockers were quite crude and through their song (self composed one) style (they had long hair and leather jackets), their performance was rather so-so (in my opinion) and the judges were laughing all the way. One judge failed them but the rockers managed to scrap through as the other judges thought that the rockers had hope and passed them. Even the rockers were surprised and could not believe that they made it – they were quite hilarious.
Not the next group that came for audition – it brought tears to my eyes.
Five of them and all of them were close friends and fathers with small kids. All were professional background musicians playing for lead bands and singers on contract basis. They do not seem to be highly paid musicians. They dress casually and could just be the guy next door. They are quite close to their kids who in turn hold their fathers as heroes and better than anyone. But they have aged (in their early forties) and they no longer find enough work to support themselves and their families even though they all were extremely talented. One of them, the pianist who was playing for a young singer said that he was fired from his work without any notice as the singer only wanted younger musicians (perhaps to better portray the singer’s youthful image). Out of work and with a family to feed, he was at his lowest point of life and wanted to kill himself so that his family could gain from the insurance money. Somehow he changed his mind. And he heard about the talent show on TV, he and his musician buddies then decided go for the talent show and hope to win – a chance to change their life for better.
They walked in and as they take their place with their music instruments, one of the judges recognize them and asked why they are here. After all, they were all professional musicians. The pianist explains that this is the way they hope to put food on the table for their family. They then start to perform and the title of the song was rightfully called “Papa, Don’t Cry” and the performance was really excellent (ya, much better than the earlier rockers). I don’t understand Korean but due to the lyrics which had something very meaningful or perhaps due to very emotional performance by the struggling fathers, at least 2 judges in their tears. One immediately said yes whilst another abstained. The last judge said something was not right with their performance but before he delivers his verdict, the camera shot changed and was on the families of the band who have been waiting anxiously outside the audition room, some of their kids were even praying for the best. We are not shown on the final outcome of the judge’s verdict. The judge who said the negative comments suddenly walks out and looked “surprised” at the sight of the families outside. When they surrounded him and asked him on what had happened to the band, the judge keeps his silent and then out comes the men shouting, they have been picked to go on to the next level. The family members were in tears too. And that was inspiring and very moving.
Isn’t it just amazing, when things are looking bleak and hopeless, some inspiring story would come along and will inspire you not to lose hope and keep at it and things will change? Similarly there is hope for the country yet. Remember of all the nonsense that the politicians doing now and remember it well and when the next general elections comes, you will know what to do. In the meantime, keep your heads high and look out for the big break that surely will come.
I will be on a long hiatus from next week onwards – I will be away on a “mission” and internet connection may be almost non-existence. Besides, I intend to use whatever little free time I have on finishing on a very thick book that I had put away since last year (it was just too thick for me to start and I always opt for a thinner one) and of course catching on sleep (the new Boss is back to be very active at night). Hopefully when I come back, the police had score the big one by nabbing a good number of hired killers and sent them to the gallows for cold blood murders.
(The biggest headache for the nation at the moment – we have multiple shooting and hired killers on the loose. The next question is whether it is just a tip of the iceberg in the wave of crime confronting the country. Image source: http://www.straitstimes.com)
In the meantime and while the Government seems to be at lost over almost 23 incidents of shooting over the last 2 months and only now they want to stand-up and “wear their pants” on beefing up the police force (shouldn’t they done that eons ago?) and tighten the preventive laws, as a parent myself, I think we should not also miss the focus of stopping crime at the start and ensure there is no rise of young offenders who in turn end up becoming the filth of the filth in the country. With that, go ahead and read this:-
The father of a 14-year-old boy who was found murdered near some bushes in Taman Mewah, Kamunting, suspects that his son may have been killed due to a misunderstanding. Supervisor A. Manimaran, 46, claimed his son M. Nathaniel was involved in a minor accident with a group of youths a week ago. “My son, who was riding my motorcycle, had been involved in a minor accident with another motorcyclist. There could have been some misunderstanding from there.
Lost in translation is the question how could the 14-years old be riding around in a motorcycle when the minimum age to ride a motorcycle in this country is 16 years old and that too with a valid license. It’s obvious that no only the deceased was under-aged to ride a motorcycle; he was also riding around without a valid license. I won’t be surprised if the deceased was not wearing a helmet at the time too. And such problem is nothing new in many housing areas in the country where we have under-aged riders riding around unsupervised and without license (the usual “tak apa” attitude). It is quite understandable if we don’t have the police rushing into the housing area to round these youngsters up for riding around without license or helmet – these cases very likely to be rated the lowest in the police’s list of priorities when it comes to fighting crime (seriously they have a bigger issue at hand and that includes the alleged involvement of the police with the criminal underworld). It is quite understandable too as some of these youngsters are also our neighbour kids and we know them from small and thus not keen to chase them with a baseball bat to stop them (whacking snatch thieves to a pulp on the other hand is another ball game all together).
It does not matter if there were some misunderstanding or there were other idiots in the picture – the end of the story is tragic – someone’s young son is dead. Thus it is indeed important to relook at this nuisance (and breaking of the law) from the aspect of parenting and how some parents could be dumb enough to be allowing these youngsters to ride around without any license and helmet (let’s leave the impact of the education system on the young minds for now – there have been too many flip-flops on the education blueprint on the simplest thing like language to use for Science and Mathematics). Of course, some takes the notion of dumbness to a whole new level by allowing the young “abang” to take the infant “adik” (both of course riding around without wearing any helmet) for ride around the housing area and without any supervision. One cannot blame the kids to riding around without helmets and license – the fact that the parents themselves allow the kids to ride a motorcycle (intentionally or unintentionally) means that the kids could do anything. And without a good parenting and a good sense of discipline and education, some of kids have been spoilt to the core and became a bigger nuisance to others.
And when some of these harmless law breakers started to venture to something more sinister for cheap kicks and quick money, you will have this in the papers:-
The police have arrested two men believed to be involved in the snatch theft and attack on Dr Delaila Ahmad, in her 50s, in Subang Jaya on Tuesday. Selangor acting police chief Datuk A. Thaiveegan said the suspects aged 20 and 22 years old respectively were arrested at about 6am today in SS17, Subang Jaya. “They were arrested based on information from the public and family members of one of the suspects,” he told reporters at Subang Jaya district police headquarters today.
The police are still investigating the case and the victim is still being being treated at the Sime Darby Medical Centre in Subang Jaya. Delaila, an obstetrician and gynaecologist, was attacked by parang-wielding men as she was leaving her polyclinic in Jalan SS 19/6, Subang Jaya at 1.20am on Tuesday.
They are barely into their twenties and yet they are brave enough to rob a doctor with parang and slash her fingers without any hesitations. And despite their young age and some argument for reforms instead of punishment, the rest of us (I am very certain) would be praying that they would be locked away behind bars for the rest of their life (although unfortunately Section 326 of the Penal Code only carries a maximum imprisonment for 20 years). We do not need selfish & dangerous youngsters like these in our society and making it a living hell for the rest of us. It is just too bad that the Government had not thought of making armed snatch-theft (or any crime that causes injuries to others for argument sake) punishable with mandatory death by hanging. Do that (and of course couple that with good enforcement of the law & prosecution) and you will see how fast the serious crime statistics drops.
Back in 2011, this was reported:-
“The rate of crimes committed by youths has increased over the past two years although the overall crime index in the country has decreased,” he said after launching the “6 in 1” Crime Prevention and Healthy Living Community Service Project at Seri Petaling here. He said according to police statistics, students’ involvement in crimes had increased from 1,409 in 2009 to 1,947 in 2010, causing the crime index involving youths to increase by 38%. “As for non-students, the crime cases have increased from 2,245 in 2009 to 3,218 in 2010, marking an increase of 43.3%.
“Youths are increasingly involved in violent and property crimes like physical aggression, rape cases, snatch thefts and robberies,” he said. He reminded parents to make time for their children even if they were busy working.
Students from Form One to Form Three have been identified as the biggest contributors to juvenile crime, according to a research by the Malaysia Crime Prevention Foundation (MPCF). The agency said there was a three-fold increase in crimes committed by students aged between 13 and 15 compared with other age groups. Its national vice-chairman, Datuk Kamarudin Ali, said many students in lower secondary level had fallen from grace upon reaching adolescence, partly due to unsupervised Internet use such as social networking sites, especially Facebook.
If one argues that it is a case poverty and lack of education & opportunities had led these youngsters into committing serious crime, then think again. There are thousand others who are in the same predicament but have held their heads up the water and turned around things for them and their family (still remember the girl who passed her exams by studying under public street light?). It’s sad that some parents simply don’t give a damn when it comes to looking into what their kid do and say and when the situation requires for it, discipline and educate them. I call my son “The Boss” but if he does something wrong (and it rarely happens), he knows what’s coming from me and my wife – punishment old school (I am sure many of us would recall how our parents and some of our teachers used to whack us with a thick cane for the smallest mistakes we did when we were small).
When it comes to parenting, one aspect of making sure that the kids do and say the right thing is by setting a good example – if some adults themselves are riding around the housing area without any helmets (and acting like primates on the road), then how one can expect their kids to be wearing one. In the case of 20 years old snatch thief – at least the parents did set a fine example to other (parents) – if your kid is in fault and you know that he is in fault, do the right thing and turn them in to the police for due process. Yes, it is hard for any parents to see their kids behind bars but if they had tried their best to discipline the kids and failed for one reason or another, they have no other choice.
Good discipline and setting good examples at the end of the day must be coupled with good education and high morality. There must be a constant preaching of “do the right things” and “do what’s fair” to our kids to ensure that they are often reminded on what is wrong and what is right. Yes, “doing what’s right and fair” may be something very subjective but most parents just have to put a bit of the thinking cap and a good dose of reasonableness and fairness (simply do to others on what you expect others to do to you and you are on safe grounds). If we do that effectively, we will not have delusional 20 year-olds walking around with parang and cutting off people’s fingers for quick cash.
Have a good weekend and in case I could not get “online”, happy holidays and Selamat Hari Raya…
I don’t know whether it is a case of recklessness or plain ignorance but I get very angry when I see parents not taking care of their kids in the right manner
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5JA5xLs-gM] (The 2 kids focusing on the cabin light. If both parents have to go, take the kids with them – they are still awake and is able to walk or if have to leave them behind, one of the adults should stay back as well to take care of them but never, never leave them alone more so in a car with engine still running. P.s. the video looks dark due to this)
It was a day after 1st of April, so I knew it was not an April Fool’s joke.
It was on a Sunday night when we had to go for our weekly sundry shopping and we headed towards our usual place, Pasar Borong Selangor. My son decided to “hitch-hike” our car as we mentioned that we might stop-over at my Grandma’s house despite it is quite late at night (and he love the place).
Soon we had him at the back, complaining on the choice of song we were picking on the way to the place – he rather listen to loud new songs instead of sentimental old songs. When we reached the place, my son looked tired and sleepy – so my wife decided to do the shopping alone whilst I stayed in the car with our son who now fast asleep at the back (the alternative would be me carrying my “now too big & heavy to carry” son around). We did not plan to buy too many things that night, so my wife did not need me to be the “muscle” to carry the heavy load like how she often ask me to do.
So, my wife left us in the car and I know that it will be sometime before my wife will be back (she is quite picky when it comes to sundry items for the house). I put on the music and was listening to it when a car pulled in on my right side. A man, his wife and two young kids was inside the car – the two kids looked a bit hyperactive. At first, it looked normal but then something happened. I was shocked when I noticed the parents got down and left the 2 kids inside the car with the engine STILL running. Without the parents to supervise them, the kids started to get really busy – they start playing with the buttons and switches in the car. One looked like trying something with the gear but distracted with his brother playing with the cabin light.
What if the kids were able to put the car on first or reverse gear and press on the accelerator, running someone to their death? Or with the kids inside a car with the engine left running, what would have happened if someone broke the window or managed to open the door and drive the car away with the kids still inside the car? Perhaps some parents like this have forgotten the tragic case of Nurin Jazlin who was reported missing after she had gone alone to a wet market located near her house and later was found dead, stuffed in a gym bag, with a cucumber and a brinjal was found stuffed inside her genitals.
I was pissed off with the parents to be taking things too lightly – is it another case of “quantity over quality”? That parents having kids without ensuring their safety and welfare and having them for the sake of having kids? Seeing such things is nothing new – how many times you have seen young kids walking or playing by the roadside near their houses all alone or left under care of equally young kids all alone in the house, leading to incidents like this:-
A six-year-old boy, who was left alone to take care of three other siblings, decided to put his three-month-old baby sister in a traveling bag before leaving her at the void deck of an apartment block in Larkin.
The baby girl was left alone for more than half an hour before one of the residents saw her trying to crawl out of the bag.
The man immediately contacted police and rescued the baby.
When my wife came back, she passed by the car and she noticed the young 2 kids inside the car without the parents at sight. I told her what I saw and she looked in disbelief as how the parents can be so careless (or more importantly stupid). The kids barely looked older than 6 – 7 years old.
It was getting late and with the parents of the 2 kids nowhere to be seen – the idiots must be busy with their marketing, we decided that there is nothing much we can do – we left the place, still feeling angry, expecting horrible news the next day.
They say a picture paints a thousand words….so does photographic evidence
(Lawless in Tenang or stupidity on the highest level? The fatso in the front seems very happy – I wonder how his parents will feel when this fatso is knocked down by a car and his unprotected head cracks open on the hard surface of the road, turning him into a living vegetable for rest of his life? Image source: NST, Rosdan Wahid – 29 Jan 2011)
Young but extremely stupid – on public roads without helmets and with pillion riders. Will the police take action on these morons or will they close one eyes since the morons are “flying” the BN flags? These idiots on the motorcycle are obviously students – so where did their common sense and education went once they sat on the motorcycle?
And what about their irresponsible parents? Still remember Aminulrasyid Amzah who sneaked from the house, stole his sister’s car, did a hit and run which caused the police to give chase and at the end, died in a hail of bullets? Most pointed their fingers at the police but what about the deceased and his parents?
I really wonder how these parents can allow their children to go off in a motorcycle without any helmets. They must be either stupid (they too don’t wear helmet), careless (don’t really care what happens to their kids) or simply ignorant (the usual “it is only nearby” excuse)