Personal Grooming 101: Time For A Shave

The whole of last week, I was so busy with work and other stuff (excuses, excuses) that I did not have time to shave.

I started to look like a Neanderthal man – unshaven and the moustache & beard had grown like a wild bush. I started to look sick, so much so some of colleagues started asking me whether I was having a problem or was having a fever. I entered the lift with a senior colleague of mine last week and I noticed she was staring at me and before she could open her mouth, I said “Had no time to shave”. She looked a bit shocked but replied “I was about to ask you on that”. I said to myself “Why I am not surprised?” I need to shave before the start of next week.

It used to be a simple task as I was “growing up”.

A quick splash of the cheap bar soap on the face and a cheap razor blade used to get the job done simple and fast (but not before having multiple cuts here and there). Before I had my own razor blade which I was afforded to buy after I started work, I often use my Dad’s razor blade.

These days, shaving has just gotten (how should I put it) just too complicated.

Somehow the cheap razor blades do not work that well for me anymore. I had to spend extra cash to buy one of the hi-tech shavers such as Gillette Mach 3 Turbo shaving blades (I used to have Mach 2 but I was led to believe that Mach 3 is “faster” on my face than Mach 2. Ha, need to cut down fantasizing Top Gun).

The battery-powered ones would probably the next buy for me. I wonder what they will create next – a shaver with a built-in MP3 player perhaps. That will be cool, don’t you think? That would give the expression “singing in the bathroom” a whole new meaning.

It gets more complicated…

The cheap bar of soap will not do these days either. It has to be a specially made “shaving cream”. The one that has Vitamins A, B, C or whatever or the one that has aloe vera, ginseng, tongkat ali, natural herbs, etc to give that extra smoothness (ya, the kind of smoothness that you often see in a beer commercial) and extra protection during and after shave. The “extras” in the shaving also means you are going to spend “extra” time for shaving.

A typical day of shaving for me goes something like this:-

Step 1: Get the things ready – the shaver, shaving cream and after-shave. Most of the times, it is all over the place due to failure of Step 9 below

Step 2: Take shower first (to clean the face from sweat and oil at the same time). I do this often and guess what, in the end I will forget that I need to shave.

Step 3: Wash off the soap from the face (in preparation for the shaving cream, what else?)

Step 4: Apply the shaving cream evenly and let it “marinate” for a while so that the facial hair is all “weak and loose” for you to shave it off with brute force

Step 5: Before shaving, rinse the shaver for any “leftover” hairs (there bound to be one or two sticking out). Change the blade if it needs to (re-use the old ones if you do have enough cash to buy new ones like me).

Step 6: Shave! The style differs most of the time. Sometimes it is top to bottom, bottom to top, right to left, in circles, heart shape, etc. Sometimes the “zig-zag” style is also used.

Step 7: Wash off the residual shaving cream. I said wash, not wipe away with a towel as you often see in the movies (unless you want your wife to nag at you when she finds the towel full of shaving cream). It also makes sense to double check whether you have missed any spot before walking out from the bathroom. Trust me, it can be very embarrassing to go out and someone tells you that you have a spot of shaving cream on your face. Really embarrassing!

Step 8: Once done, top it off with an after-shave or lotion or baby powder (what is your preference). Sometimes I am just too lazy to use any of these.

Step 9: Put back the – shaver, shaving cream and after-shave in its right places. Most of the time, I don’t do this, causing some delays for Step 1

Step 10: Return to the bathroom to wash and the clean the area where I shaved. Little of hair and shaving cream in bathroom sink is all it is needed for my wife to make noise. So, to avoid it, I double check and clean up the place.

Now you know why it is not easy for me to do a quick shave. I trust some people can do a quickie faster than they can shave.

By the way, after saying all that, I did not shave last week but late Sunday evening and just before the shop closed, I hopped over to my local barber shop for a last minute hair cut and whilst at it, asked the “Anne” (big brother) to give me a shave as well.

Of course and as usual, he used the cheap soap and the cheap shaving blades to get the job done. Sigh.