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Police’s Buggy Plan


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It does not take long for someone to come up with stupid and wasteful ideas – where else but in Malaysia.

After reading Patrick Teoh’s piece on the police’s “cockamimmie idea” to use golf buggies to patrol the street, I could not shrug off the feeling that sometimes the police or “someone” who is representing the police can come up such a stupid, wastage, fucked-up idea to cheat the tax-payers (with all due respect to the buggy manufacturer, this post is not about you but rather about the police and the use of buggies).

As Patrick Teoh rightfully pointed that a simple bicycle can do the same job – more efficiently and effectively. Consider these big contrasts between the golf buggy (based on the report in the NST) and bicycle:-

1. The petrol and electric buggies to be efficient and easy to manoeuvre – The bicycle can be carried by hand and carried up & down staircases, you CAN’T do that with a buggy, can you? Further a buggy (if some idiots cared to measure it) takes more space than a bicycle. So, if one is using it at narrow lanes in a crowded area, who is going to give way? The buggy or pedestrians?

2. The buggies are an almost maintenance-free golf buggy – The bicycle is also “almost” maintenance free and with a even cheaper cost to replace parts. How much sensors in a buggy cost?

3. The buggies comes with larger and more comfortable seats and it does not sag or warp and can withstand repeated washings – Oh, come on – the buggies are going to be used for patrolling, not for golfing, so what comfortable thing that they are talking about. We don’t expect the police to be cycling the whole day. And what about this issue of buggy can “withstanding repeated washing”?

4. The buggies showed that the battery version is completely silent– Silent? So, does cycling and if you add more grease to the chains (like how my friend did to his BMX couple of years ago), cycling can be very,very silent indeed.


5. Steering the buggies is easy as they ride smoothly and they boast of a maintenance-free suspension which minimises roll and ensures a comfortable ride. – A bicycle can make a U-turn faster than a buggy, so which is easier to steer? Bicycle or a buggy? And here we go again on “maintenance free” thing. What’s next? A Lotus-tuned suspension?

6. The petrol version does not require an oil pump, which in turn means there is no need for an oil filter, thus eliminating the need for proper hazardous waste disposal – Using petrol itself is a hazard to the environment (where do you think the carbon monoxide from the combustion is going to go? Into the policeman’s backside?). A bicycle is more environment friendly, probably second to walking.

7. The sensor switches are sealed with marine-quality element so that they do not corrode – Ok, we are getting a little bit hi-tech here – probably to throw some “uneducated” people off. What sensors? To monitor the buggy’s “ALMOST maintenance free” system or to assist in police work? A bicycle does not have sensors, don’t worry about any corrosion here.

8. Another important feature is the virtually maintenance-free disc brake technology which is widely used in all-terrain vehicles. – Ok, I am getting agitated with this uncontrolled use of the “maintenance free” word here. Disc brake used in all terrain vehicle? What kind of speed that the police is expected to be doing on a buggy in a crowded area? 100 km per hour?

9. The YDR series buggies have a suggested retail price of RM26,500 each– This is where the kill is made! For every one buggy bought, you can buy at least 50 well equipped bicycles (or 20 bicycles an the remaining for proper gear like helmet, jacket, training for the rider) . So, why the waste? How much the commission that the middle person is getting for this fucked-up deal?

10. Healithier and robust policeman – A trivia question– who will be more healthier? The police who been sitting down on a buggy and the only activities that he does is to press the pedal and move the steering OR the police who does 10 – 20 kilometres of cycling? If you are still thinking about the answer (by now), hmmm….no comments!

So, who is making the big kill – in millions here? For those planners in the police department, next time before you open your un-informed mouth to suggest something similar, try “googling” the net and you may discover these articles:-

Police Patrol on Bikes

Bike Patrol Proves Effective in Romulus, Michigan

Bicycle Patrol

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