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Story Time

(Help! The language is “killing” me)

Sometimes you get jewels like this in your inbox:-

My dear, I am miss Angela from Asmara, Eritrea, single and 21 years old. After accessing your details in the internet site i copied out only your email address. Immediately after going through your information i made up my mind to contact you for long term relationship, because you are my choice of trust and i see nothing wrong with the choice that i have made in you. Now that i am in a state of absolute confusion I must let you know that my daddy was the Financial controller to the Common Wealth North African Region.

About my parents; My mummy died in labour when she was giving birth to a baby in the hospital in Asmara, and both my mummy and the baby died together, then i was only 11 years of age. My daddy died in a car accident and the car driver that jammed my daddy’s car ran away and my daddy’s lawyer and my daddy’s brother are among the suspects, and they are all against me because of my daddy’s properties in Eritrea.The following information is my purpose of choosing you. Before my daddy died he made me the beneficiary of the amount of 14.5 Million gbp£ in his account with Citi Bank in Dakar, Senegal. On my way travelling to Dakar, Senegal i arrived this Gambia on transit, on the same night i arrived Gambia i was attacked by 2 big boys in my guest house (hotel) room, they robbed me, collected my hand bag that contained all my money, as if that was not enough, they tried to rape me so i collected the nearest object in the room and heated one of them on the head and screamed to the hearing of the neighbouring compounds and people came out and descended on the criminals, the next morning the police came to the guest house and arrested me, since then i have been kept under awaiting trial here in this central prison Gambia because the criminal i heated paralysed as a result of the severe beating given to him by the neighbourhood.

I am among the girls newly appointed to head the girls sector in this prison, hence i have the advantage to use the prison computer to communicate with you, and i will be very glad to also have a detailed information about you. From here i communicated with citi bank and they said that because of the written agreement that my daddy signed with them that i must be present in their bank to withdraw the money by myself OR that i should appoint a foreign partner who will receive the money on my behalf. the money is my only hope in life. as soon as Citi Bank transfers the money into your bank account, you will use some of the money to get me a lawyer or lawyers to fight for my case and get me out of here, then the same week of my release you will fly down here in Gambia and i and you will depart to your home in your country together. I want you to help me receive the amount and also be my finance and investment manager.

Reply me only on email: ONLY. In your reply do give me your name and house address and your mobile phone number so that i will keep it. With all my Love – Miss Angela Kennedy

Getting “I have the money but need foreign partner” kind of emails is nothing new for most of us but one with ugly English is something new. And getting one with a fairy tale like twist is even rare. I don’t know about you but reading a statement like “i and you will depart to your home in your country together” gives me goose bumps.

Bad English but good creativity!

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