This one is for all the men out there – how more macho can a man can get? Picture source: www.huhny.de/categories/20-Bilder
This was something I stumbled on the net was at the AskMen.com – the website dedicated to men when I came across this article by the one and only Mr Mafioso. It was titled “12 Ways Men Became Sissies & Whiners”. In this article, M says that women want a man who will act like a man, who will take charge, who can make decisions, who doesn’t cry, and who faces fear.
He analysed 12 ways where men have gone wrong. I was interested or rather was curious on what he had to say, so I clicked and found this list (I have edited it to make it short but for full details, go to the site. My comments are in brackets).
Why Men have become Sissies & Whiners?
Factor 1 – Men give up easily
It used to be that a man had to have two bullets in his head to quit whatever he was doing. Now, at the first sign of trouble, men put up their hands and say “I quit,” instead of fighting the tough battle.
(This does not mean that women give up easily too. Everyone must keep on trying to complete the task in hand. I worked under several rather mean bosses for years before calling it a quit. Some of the bosses were mean but the working environment was great and I had some of the best working colleagues. Having mean bosses also helped to build resilience in me when there are tough tasks ahead. I could have stay on but the offer from my current workplace was too good to be turned down.
However, things have changed given the experience I have gained todate with my travels, meeting different people and managing critical-mission projects. Nowadays the motto is simple – “not till the fat lady sings” and we always push to the very end, to the last second before we call it a day. Sometimes the outcome is not as bad as it would have been had we given up right at the beginning)
Factor 2 – Men can’t handle criticism
Remember the expression “take it like a man”? Now every time someone says something critical that isn’t sugar-coated with girly fairy dust, all hell breaks loose, and the tears start to roll.
(I guess it is part of a man’s defensive mechanism even for myself – hear one criticism about myself and I immediately switch into denial or counter-argument mode. After all, I am a trained lawyer, am I not? For me, it seems like I can’t do anything wrong but you know, there will always someone who comes along and prove me wrong. Big wake up call for me
These days I view criticisms differently – it has become a great opportunity to identify one’s weaknesses and work on improving. Criticisms when given positively also builds characters)
Factor 3 – Men complaint
Remember when Don Corleone said to his godson, “You can act like a man! [Slap] What’s the matter with you?” Accept that life isn’t perfect and move on. We’ve become selfish pigs, not doing anything without selfish gain.
(I accepted life was not perfect long, long time ago. Life is not only imperfect but it is also not fair. I used to complain to a lot of people, sometimes I just blog about it so to release my frustrations somewhere. However, I have come to a point where I view the situation and see if escalation of the complaint will improve on things. Otherwise, just move on and focus on the next tasks)
What defines a man’s fashion these days? A proper shirt, suit and a neck tie or just a simple T-shirt? Photo by David Bartus from Pexels
Factor 4 – Men groom like women
I’m all for a good manicure and proper hygiene, but let’s get one thing straight — I will never wax anything off my body that God intended to have there. I am not going to go to a fancy girly spa to get some algae crap on my face. Look clean, iron your clothes, anything else leave to your mother-in-law.
(Damn, I know this was coming. With my wife selling Avon Beauty products, I can’t help checking out some of the beauty products. I guess, at my age, first impression matters too)
Factor 5 – Men talk about their feelings
I love this one. Men all of a sudden have “feelings” others need to hear about. It’s not enough that men are crying, they now must “express” themselves. Asking a woman if she loves you or if you satisfy her is pathetic.
(This definitely is not me. I keep my feelings to myself – my wife on the other hand, is the opposite of me. It is not a big surprise considering how man from venus and woman from mars. But then again, feelings can mean a lot of things. We just express it differently. Softy type? Once upon a time, probably yes)
Factor 6 – Men side with feminists
Anyone who knows me knows how much I love feminists, so when I see men yelling for social and workplace equality, Girl Power and the Spice Girls, I just start vomiting. Being macho has become a dirty word.
(This is a tough one especially when my wife is standing beside me. Any sign of not supporting the feminist can spell trouble for me later)
It is every man’s dream out there to have a proper work station with the full set of tools or is it? Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
Factor 7 – Men embrace unmanly trends
Being a metrosexual, meditating, being a vegan, being anti-spider killing, being a stronzo, a Tom Cruise fan, whatever, all people who follow any of these things should be gathered up, put on an island north of Siberia, and allowed to pursue their interests in the comfort of their fellow sissy males.
(I guess M would not be watching Brokeback Mountain – the story sounds unmanly too)
Factor 8 – Men are useless
Our forefathers could build a house that lasted for 200 years with their bare hands, nowadays men can’t even put up a shelf without reading a 200-page manual. Sure, there are still Luigi and Mario who can build you a nice five-bedroom house in five days, but most guys don’t even own a hammer anymore.
(Luckily I have not come to that point yet – there is still a hammer and a big toolbox in my house in case I need to DIY any fixes. Of course, I take the easy way out by asking my brother to do the fixes whilst I “supervise” the job. Perhaps after I moved house, I can start sharpening my handy work skills
Over time, the number of tools in my “doomsday storeroom” have increased too, considering that I manage most of the easy fixes at home. From the simple wiring, replacing the tap head, replacing the fan capacitors to something more complex like taking out the sink, repairing the wall with fresh cement and placing back the sink – I continue to learn new things on the internet related to DIY works
The point at the end of the day, all men out there should have at least one properly equipped toolbox and able to do simple fixes at home or on the car without referring to a manual)
Factor 9 – Men are afraid to tell someone off
Men have no problem telling everyone their childhood fantasies about their teddy bears, but ask them to be direct, blunt, and tell it like it is, and all of a sudden they belong to the United Nations. You know why? Because if they are brutally honest and forward, then someone might be brutally honest back, and heaven forbid someone tell us we’re not God incarnate.
(I may not be the person who is too direct or blunt – I guess it is because there is a fine line between being rude and being blunt of something. But some people do not react when you ask them nicely and only wake up when you bang on the table and tell them off. It has helped in many situations to simply tell others to do it or otherwise they will see the ugly side of me)
Unfortunately, I came from an era where man suppose to take up learning handy work at home and the woman suppose to learn the basic of cooking at home. Try doing the other in front of the elders back then would get a loud scolding. But things have changed and cooking skills have become critical. Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels
Factor 10 – Men take over women’s roles
When did becoming a stay-at-home dad become cool? When did being a male nurse become something guys grew up thinking of? When did being a secretary scream out “ambitious career plan”? When did holding your wife’s hand while she’s delivering your baby become a mandatory male experience?
(Things have changed – if women can take on men’s roles, men should able to take women’s roles too. The key factor in this would be to ensure the job gets done well and proper)
Factor 11 – Men watch too much Oprah
Do I have to explain this one?
(Sorry, I don’t watch Oprah too)
Factor 12 – Men are whipped
The most important reason men have lost all sense of masculinity is their inability to be master of their own domain. Men have handed over the whip to their women and allowed them to use it, liberally, frequently, and without discretion. No decision can be made without consulting the female — your word as the final say is a running joke when you accept being second fiddle in the hierarchy chain.
(It all depends how intelligent the decision is – regardless whether you are a male or female. Further, married men will attest that passing the whip to their wives would be the smarter thing to do without the need to fight on it. Frankly, it is just a tactic to let the other side to think that they have won when in reality, nothing has been given away)
M concluded: “…You don’t have to be a male chauvinist pig, but for crying out loud, reclaim your manhood. Be strong, be decisive, and stop watching Oprah”.
My conclusion: Although I may not agree on some, I agree that M has some valid points – something for we guys to ponder about but before anyone accuses Mafioso (or even me) being male chauvinist, as Mafioso have said take it like a man.